My letter to Nathaniel - November 18, 2006

Nathaniel,

I really don't know where to begin. Here I am at Broward General Hospital Pediatric Intensive Care Unit, looking at you, my sweet baby boy, lying so still, so lifeless. My heart is so sad to see you this way. This is not my "Bounce Back Nat-E-Boy." One day I know you will ask what happened so I want to write this all down for you.

Thursday night we left school (GraceLand Christian Academy) around 5:00pm. You had a great day at school and you had on one great big smile! We were so proud of you that day. Even Courtney had a good day. For both of you to have a good day on the same day was a miracle in itself. In the car on the way home you were begging me to take you and Courtney to Chuck-E-Cheese as a reward. We couldn't go that day because we had frozen cookies in the trunk that we needed to deliver from our school fundraiser. So, we dropped off the first 2 boxes to Miss Renee's house. Then we loaded in the van and went to the next house. You were so cute when you got to the door. You and Kayla both said, "Enjoy your cookies!" We continued to drive them to houses on our block. At one house you asked if you could sit on the floor of the van to the next house. Unfortunately, I said Yes. We had done it before when we drove across the church parking lot to Mom-Mom's house, so why not. You and Kayla each held a box and sat on the floor of the open mini-van. Baby, seconds later you fell out of mommy's van. I thought I heard a thump. I stopped the van immediately and ran to see you on the ground. You were lying there lifeless. No response to my voice. No Breath! I started CPR and I dialed 911 screaming, "Yes! It's an emergency!" She asked me for an address but I couldn't respond. You were in need of a breath and I was the one that was going to give it to you. Thank God a neighbor, Nathan, and his girlfriend ran out to help. I threw the phone to Nathan and told him to tell them where we were, and tell them to get here NOW!" I continued CPR from the time I saw you until the medical help arrived. It felt so good to feel like I was able to help you survive by giving you breath. You may not remember this, but just a few weeks before, I came home from a CPR class and you and Kayla wanted to know what I learned. So, you and your sister layed on the bed and I showed you what I learned. You both laughed and laughed - It was so much fun! I never thought I would really need to perform CPR on you, but I did. And I am grateful to the Lord for providing me with the knowledge and peace to do what I needed to do that night to help save your life. Approximatly 4 minutes later the paramedics showed up and they told me to continue CPR. About a minute later you began choking on my air, wanting to breath on your own. That is when the paramedics took over. Daddy arrived naturally upset and crying. He loves you more than anything else in this world. They loaded you in the abulance and drove 1 block away to the Catholic Church to load you in the helicopter. You were air lifted to Broward General Trama Center only about 9 miles away from home...but you were in such critical condition...every second counted. I wanted so bad to go with you, but they said no one is ever allowed in the chopper. I know that was best, they just needed to focus on you with no distractions.

Well so far God has been so good. These are the miracles that HE did for us.
Miracle #1 I knew CPR
Miracle #2 Neighbors Helped
Miracle #3 Someone waved down the paramedics from Sunset Strip. They said the fact that someone waved them down saved them 3 crucial minutes.

I was left on the street. Neighbors all pitched in to clean me of your blood, give me water, kleenex. They even prayed and encouraged me with kind words.

Shortly after Mom-Mom and Pop-Pop arrived along with a special crisis police woman named Kerry. She came to drive us to the hospital safely and to by-pass any "red flag areas" and get us in as soon as possible to be with you. When we got to the hospital, one red flag already went up. The security officer wasn't going to let Mom-Mom and Pop-Pop come in to the trauma unit with us. But Kerry said, "Yes, they can all go in. We really don't care what you suggest right now."

An amazing sweet nurse was taking care of you when I got there. She had already given you a TY monkey. How did she know you loved Monkies....Hmmm....Maybe that was #4 God -Thing! Not maybe...FOR SURE!

Oh, I think I missed a part. #5 God thing was that the paramedic that greeted you on the roof of the hospital was a long time friend of our family, Chris Cash. He was so nice to all of us and we thank God that he was there. It really helped to see a familiar face.

Later that night you were transfered to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit. The physicians could not give us any hope that you would be alright. You had suffered a massive brain injury and all they would say is that we needed to wait. We entrusted you to Jesus, and prayed for a miracle.